A Question Answered: part one.

I've been asked the same question quite a few times now, and I think it's time to write down an answer. This question ranges from "What is it that you do?" to "How do you do what you do, as a homemaker?" Every once in awhile, there is a "Did you grow up learning this?" So, first, I will answer the last question (D&C 88:59, ha ha).

Did I Grow Up Learning to be a HOME MAKER?

The short answer is, no. I did grow up doing chores, but came from a home where most chores were done on Saturday, as no one was home all week. I also grew up with high aspirations to be in the corporate world, and followed those dreams quite voraciously for some time, hence the degree in Human Resource Management with an emphasis on motivation. I always wanted to be a public speaker. I loved the idea of motivating other people to do what ever it was that they loved, or at least motivating them to love what it was they were doing. I worked for a short while for a company named Nightingale-Conant and being exposed to all those wonderful motivational speakers and authors really struck a chord with me. I loved it. LOVED IT. I then went off to college. I thought I wanted a degree in law (corporate law, maybe moving onto politics), but then changed my mind when I found out about the amazing program at the University of Idaho in Business Management.
While in school I worked for a great apartment complex as an assistant manager. I also had to clean those apartments, and learned a lot about cleaning FAST. We had 400 units of which most turned over each summer. We had other cleaners, but I was also the apartment inspector, so there was a lot to do. Now, this is getting boring, so I'll move on to the day I decided to stay home...

Zach was born in the September of my senior year, via emergency c-section (my thought process leads me to realize that I have not written down any of my birth stories, perhaps those will be my next posts...). It was a crazy time as I missed five weeks of school. I still finished that semester, unfortunately with all B's, which put me ONE point away from graduating with honors. In the big scheme of things, that wasn't as big of a deal as I thought, really. I graduated in May 2004 with a 7 month old cheering for me. I was tired! We had applied for graduate schools for Stephen, so I held off on applying for jobs until we'd figured out where we were going to live. Despite my rebellious nature, I am one who takes many matters to God in prayer, such as where to live, what job to take, etc. Staying home had never crossed my mind. One day, as I was talking to a prospective employer (AFLAC to be exact), and he asked me when I could come in to interview in person, I looked down at my son who was trying so hard to crawl forward (backwards had been achieved) and I realized I didn't want to miss his first steps, his first words, his first anything. My mouth opened, and a sentence that surprised even me came out, "I'm sorry, but something just came up. I'm completely unavailable." I called Stephen in tears. So began my journey.

So, What IS a Homemaker?

I went online, trying to find out what a homemaker does besides clean and watch a baby attempt to crawl all day. Really, I had no idea. I was previously of the opinion that my friends who stayed home were either vain or lazy. I have repented of that opinion, many times over, and if I ever said anything rude to you, and you're reading this, please except my apologies! The first thing I found that gave me hope was a website called "The New Homemaker". I took to heart her New Homemaker's Manifesto, which I will post here, along with the link to her site.

TNH Manifesto

"

ou may be wondering right about now, "What's so new about homemaking? It's as old as, well, homes." Absolutely. But look around.

Domestic skills that were once common are now rare. Don't believe me? If you're under the age of 40, bake a loaf of bread, or, if this mystifies you, sew a pretty blouse, knit a sweater--or fold a fitted sheet. Then show your friends. Chances are they'll make a huge fuss over your amazing ability, one that most women born before 1950 took completely for granted.

In a generation, we have lost hundreds, maybe thousands of years of domestic knowledge. Girls are raised now with no idea how to run a household; it's assumed they'll never have to. And besides, their own mothers probably don't know how to run a household themselves.

We had feminist mothers who didn't believe in domesticity. We had domestic grandmothers who didn't know about feminism. The former threw the baby out with the bathwater in their zest for self-realization. The latter were too busy scrubbing the bathtub to think about self-anything.

Why would anyone want to return to the home? Isn't it boring, self-sacrificing, old-fashioned? Those are the base assumptions of our culture. But our culture's unchallenged assumptions about both partners working, when examined, may turn out not to reflect your values, or even your best interests. These are assumptions we hear every day: You can't make it on one income. You'd be bored at home. Your career will suffer. Daycare is good for children. The schools are raising your children just fine.

I can refute each and every one of these assumptions easily and in detail, but I'll sum it up in one popular phrase: On your deathbed, as you look back over your life, would you really turn to your children and say, "Gee, I wish I'd spent more time at the office"?

Increasingly, something is just giving in people; they've had enough. One too many breastmilk pumping sessions in the toilet stall at work, one too many microwaved TV dinners, one too many requests from a wistful child for more of a parent's time--or worse, one too many reports of problems with a child from a teacher--and families start to reassess their priorities. (I'm not talking about single parents, most of whom are doing the best they can to keep body and soul together with little help or support.) More and more young families are looking around and realizing that much of what's wrong with American home life today is that NO ONE'S HOME.

Single-income families are the fastest-growing segment of the American population. In ever greater numbers, one of the family adults is choosing to stay home and keep house--to care for and even school children, to care for elderly relatives, to care for the partner working outside the home, to care for the surrounding community, and any combination of the above. That adult can be male or female, but is usually female. She's taking responsibility for her own family instead of expecting other people to do it, either for pay or by government mandate.

This much is true: Homemaking can be a lonely, thankless task, especially when you feel like you don't know what you're doing. And that's where TNH comes in. Our goal is to provide the resources, tools and support you need to create the home you want, with no condescension and no proselytizing.

Today's homemakers must take the best from what our foremothers have to offer us--both the independent thinkers and the shy housewives--and create something new, a homemaker who knows the value of her work, respects herself, and gets respect from the rest of the world. Every person who puts his or her family's best interests first, as people have for centuries, is now a rebel, reclaiming an America that might never have been except in our minds and hearts, but that deserves to be born.

Homemaking is a craft, an art; make it your job, because it's the most important job in the world. Study it. Improve yourself. Respect your work. It does get easier."

I made a lot of web friends on this site, but have since moved on. Not because I didn't love the site, but because I found more to do, to work on, and less time to do it in. Bored? At home? Please, make me bored, I'd love a boring day.