In response

I didn't think something would keep me up like this, but it did. My friend Liz posted to her Buzz (the new Google facebook type-thing) an article about being feminist, pro-choice, and Mormon. It can be found here.

I have to say, I couldn't have disagreed more, and I'm not prone to commenting on their blog, so I'll post my rant here. I have three problems with their argument.

Their first point--You have to be pro-choice to be feminist. Um, No? I am very much a feminist (aack! I know, flog me now, dear readers!) and always have been. I didn't go to college to find a husband, I went to find myself, and in the process met an awesome man. Yes, I got married, and have three children and STAY HOME...but see, I chose to do that. I also choose to believe that abortion is wrong IN MOST CASES. I do give the exception for incest, rape or health, however; I believe that even in those cases it should be thought about strongly. Why? Because my mom was a single woman in the military when she got pregnant with me. It was definitely an option to abort me, but she saw me as more than a clump of cells at conception--she saw my future. Yes, we lived through financial hardships, but my life is worth MORE than the trials I've had, and she will tell you that she has learned a lot about herself through the trials she had (some of them more intense than you can imagine).

My second problem: they claim they are Mormon, but take a very myopic view of the "problems" that women will face if they keep an unwanted child. To claim you are LDS is to claim that you believe that we are brought here to learn. To become something greater than human, to exist in the eternities and be able to create worlds of our own. We claim we will have great understanding of all things, even as God himself does, and we will have compassion upon those around us. Now, I do believe in being compassionate to women in that situation, however they got there. Even a passionate night that was a mistake can wreak havoc on a psyche ifa pregnancy doesn't come of it, but if it does...yikes! And it does disturb that people aren't more understanding and supportive of single mothers. They have enough of a trial in being a single mother that they DO NOT need more judgment (which is not yours to give anyway) piled upon them. They have enough guilt that they aren't providing the perfect life for their child without being told how guilty they are. THEY KNOW. Give them a hand, would you?
With choices do come responsibility, however. There is a consequence for everything, even if it's not our fault. We as LDS members talk and shudder over the martyrdom of our Prophet Joseph, yet the scriptures tell us that God told Joseph that all the he went through was for his good. I realize it's not my place to tell a woman that these trials are for her good, but as LDS people I think we tend to forget that we are taught that hardship is a blessing. Our leaders (if we so choose to believe that they are our leaders) have spoken out against the ending of life except in extreme cases. Does that take away the right of the woman? Yes. But you are also taking away my rights to punch you in the face because it effects you, right? Well, if was your mother, and you were that little clump of cells, how would you feel? I do put myself in that spot often because I was that little clump of cells (and honestly, so were all of you). But we were only parasites for a short time, and then became living/breathing creatures with rights.

My third point is that I think we belittle the role of motherhood too often. We say, "Oh! What an inconvenience! Or, what if the mother dies? She shouldn't have to chose between her life and the babies." Guess what. Been there. Almost crossed the line into the other side. I know that mothers can die in child birth. I know I had awesome doctors who prevented it for me, and that others have not been so lucky--so don't tell me I don't know the risks. However, to hear it put as anything but a noble thing, to hear it called a problem, rather than an immense responsibility that will bring a combination of blessings and trials--is well, disturbing. I could go on for a very long time about ways we could change this, but again--as with most of my long posts, my children are calling, and I am going to go give them the love and attention they deserve--that I believed they deserved as soon as they were conceived.